Just say that my family watched a dog put his nose on a hotwire fence and get zapped with a loud pop then run off with a yelp of pain. These are the questions that certain members of my family would ask.
MOM: What happened?
C.I.: I wonder what was in the electricity to make the dog ylep like that?
K.R.: Why did the puppy run away and yelp?
L.E.: Why did the dog yelp when he got zapped?
ME or SIS: Stupid dog! What did you do that for?
Then my (slightly) brilliant answer to the above questions:
To MOM: *crickets and silence*
To C.I.: "...electricity..."
To K.R.: "Well why don't you go up to the wire and find out?" (at that point she would be blond enough to go put her hand on the wire while at the same time telling me that it would zap her.)
To L.E.: "You just answered your own questions."
To ME or SIS: "Because...the dog IS stupid..."
And I am sure that this would probably be running through the dog's head: "Shazam! What was that? Why did I put my nose on it?? And what are those humans staring at???"
Friday, November 27, 2009
The blond moments of my family
K.R. is our true blond in this family. She has long thick blond hair that naturally has other colored streaks in it. She is the sort of blond that would open a submarine door if someone knocked on it.
The other day mom was ding school with C.I. and K.R. and she gave them a writing assignment. She told them "put your name and the date at the top of the page."
When she came back later to check on their work, C.I. has put his name and that days date at the top of his page, but K.R. had just put 'name' and 'date' at the top of hers...
Sis used to be a blond, but her hair darkened as she grew. However, that blond still catches up to her every now and then.
One time my mom asked sis to get a towel for the bathroom. Sis stopped short with this blank look on her face and said "Towel? What's a towel?"
Another time Sis and I were waiting in the vehicle for our parents. Sis suddenly took the cigarette lighter and pushed it into its hole for a while then pulled it out. I could smell the heat coming off of it, it was so hot.
"Hey! Put your finger on that!" She told me.
I, being the smart person that i am, said "No way!"
She replied "It won't hurt! Just do it like this..." and she laid her thumb down prettily on that hot cigarette lighter and I must say took it off quickly with a surprised exclamation.
Her thumb looked like a medium rare cooked pork chop for about a week, and she has never done it again...
My mother used to be blond when she was little and every now and then it shows.
The other day she was getting very flustered while waving papers in her hand. I asked her what the matter was. She replied: "I just had some papers in my hand and now I don't know where they are!"
We both paused a moment then she looked at her hand.
"Oh...there they are..."
It now frightens me to know that she will be driving me in the Big City soon. I mean, what if a blond moment like that happened while she was driving?!?
"Oh I can't find the road! It was just here a moment ago!" and she is driving on it...I think I will die!
What about my blond moments???
You don't wanna know... besides, I don't have any because I am burnet all the way through...
Okay, so yeah, my mom told me one time while I was driving that i needed to turn at the next block, so instead of stopping at the stop sign I had pulled up beside, I ran it... and right behind the police station too...that was just once though...
*crickets and stunned silence*
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! YOU KNOW YOU'VE DONE IT TOO!!!!!
Shieldmaiden
The other day mom was ding school with C.I. and K.R. and she gave them a writing assignment. She told them "put your name and the date at the top of the page."
When she came back later to check on their work, C.I. has put his name and that days date at the top of his page, but K.R. had just put 'name' and 'date' at the top of hers...
Sis used to be a blond, but her hair darkened as she grew. However, that blond still catches up to her every now and then.
One time my mom asked sis to get a towel for the bathroom. Sis stopped short with this blank look on her face and said "Towel? What's a towel?"
Another time Sis and I were waiting in the vehicle for our parents. Sis suddenly took the cigarette lighter and pushed it into its hole for a while then pulled it out. I could smell the heat coming off of it, it was so hot.
"Hey! Put your finger on that!" She told me.
I, being the smart person that i am, said "No way!"
She replied "It won't hurt! Just do it like this..." and she laid her thumb down prettily on that hot cigarette lighter and I must say took it off quickly with a surprised exclamation.
Her thumb looked like a medium rare cooked pork chop for about a week, and she has never done it again...
My mother used to be blond when she was little and every now and then it shows.
The other day she was getting very flustered while waving papers in her hand. I asked her what the matter was. She replied: "I just had some papers in my hand and now I don't know where they are!"
We both paused a moment then she looked at her hand.
"Oh...there they are..."
It now frightens me to know that she will be driving me in the Big City soon. I mean, what if a blond moment like that happened while she was driving?!?
"Oh I can't find the road! It was just here a moment ago!" and she is driving on it...I think I will die!
What about my blond moments???
You don't wanna know... besides, I don't have any because I am burnet all the way through...
Okay, so yeah, my mom told me one time while I was driving that i needed to turn at the next block, so instead of stopping at the stop sign I had pulled up beside, I ran it... and right behind the police station too...that was just once though...
*crickets and stunned silence*
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! YOU KNOW YOU'VE DONE IT TOO!!!!!
Shieldmaiden
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