A trip to the big city

My mom and I decided to go for a trip in the city just to have some away time together and to maybe find some nice clothes for me- better yet; find my style of clothes. We don’t have much opportunity to do that way out here in the boonies…
Anyhow, we took a friend along so she could have some away time too and help us with my clothes and whatnot.
Now before we get into the actual adventure I would like to point out something that I noticed: women go through great pains to look pretty on occasions like this.
I am totally serious.
(I am mostly referring to my mom)
They cake their face in their most special makeup, have to make sure that their clothes look flattering, fitting and nice- not one wrinkle, crease, bubble or bend- and they have to make themselves look thin and trim.
That is when the real pain comes in.
(The big intro)
FIRST it was stays and corsets, to trim a woman’s waste, THEN it was the girdle, NOW…SHAPERS!! The only difference? LYCRA!
Ok, back to the point; they put themselves through tremendous amounts of unnecessary pain and smothering, just to look like they used to when they were younger: they put on shapers.
“Oh as long as I go to the bathroom before hand and don’t eat very much, I’m alright.” Is the common excuse.
Ok, whatever you think. Not my body, but I think it’s kind of silly to go through that just to look good. My thought is: Who cares if you look good? If they don’t like it, then they can stop looking at you. If you don’t like your figure…step away from the mirror and you’ll feel better or throw the mirror away so you don’t have to see.
Ahem, anyway.
Now, onto the general purpose of this post: the actual adventure.
Well, the 4 hour trip over there is like- well- usual, except that I like looking out the window now better than I did when I was a kid. I like to observe the land for future reference (like drawing or details in my book and whatnot) and I like to read the stupid signs as we go through towns: might make a good joke later with my dad or I could see some new names for new companies and come up with weird names for book characters and stuff by taking them apart and putting them together like a quilt.
Anyway, when we got into the city and to the mall, we walk in and the first store we stop at is a baby store.
I enjoyed playing with the baby toys, while the two moms groaned over prices and cried over the cute baby outfits and cribs.
The next store we go to was the nightmare- an underwear store.
Yes, it was nothing but underwear and some makeup with pictures of strippers all over the walls wearing the company’s underwear.
Our friend was really excited because they had a new bra out that she wanted to try and was, undoubtedly, most likely comfortable.
We walk in and I think my stomach went into my throat and my eyes were wide and my body tense ready to run or kill.
This really sweet gingerbread girl (black woman if you would prefer it that way) came up and asked our names and told us hers and asked if there was anything in the store we wanted to try on.
“Oh yeah, anything you wanna try, you can.” She said real enthusiastic like with a big and pretty smile.
My mom then asked about some nighties (that are basically fit to be underwear as well) that she saw at the front of the store and she wanted to try on one or two of them.
The girl said that was great and she got on her little ear intercom/ walky talky thingy and started to give this girl on the other end a detailed description of what my mom wanted.
As I listened to the description, I believe my eyes grew three sizes larger and I lost all feeling of my stomach and held my breath.
I looked at my mom like she was insane (oh forgot- she kind of already is..hehe) and she said
“Oh you will understand when you get married.” And walked off with this other girl to go try these ‘nighties’.
I turned on my heel beside our friend and said
“Ok, I will be running up the down escalator when you guys are ready to come out.”
But sadly, before I could move one muscle to walk out of the place, our friend grabbed me by the shoulders, turned me back around and with excitement in her voice said
“Oh, no! You HAVE to try this new bra!” And I was suddenly in the clutches of that nice gingerbread girl’s hands.
She took my measurements and referred to me as a ‘busty girl’ then enthusiastically pulled out two draws full of bras for me to try and showed me herself how they should fit.
Well, I gulped down my- well whatever emotion was running through me at that moment- I think possibly a sort of fear and urge to scream and run- and stepped into the dressing room and tried things on, found out that I really only liked one and they didn’t have my proper size, then I stepped out to find that our friend was not quite done and my mom standing around with a bag googling over the ‘cute lacy underwear and poke-a-dots’.
She then walked out with me... trotted after me… and we went to look at the mini shops out in the open.
We found one that had all sorts of neat shiny objects and wigs and stuff, but the lady treated us like we were on warrant posters or had the word ‘thief’ written on us and she stayed within an inch of us, dusting off anything we touched and being rood and snappy.
We finally gave up on trying to be nice and started to walk back to the accursed underwear store to see if our friend was done yet.
I had relaxed by this time and was feeling much better and comfortable and I was just following my mom when I realized I was about half way into the underwear store.
I promptly turned on my heel, without a word to my mother and walked right back out and stood at the door until the two goofy women came out.
“Yeah I noticed that I lost her.” My mom teased as the two came out.
Our friend asked me why I didn’t like it…beats me! There is just something wrong with a store being only underwear and with pictures of strippers and really friendly girls and- don’t ask me, but that is not a store to have fun and play in.
Well, that was the only nightmare, except at the Cheesecake Factory, where we went for lunch, but that was a good nightmare (that is an oxymoron, I know). The nightmare in in the Cheesecake Factory was not being able to eat all of the cheesecake and the food, but what made it a good nightmare was the wonderful, lovable, useful gift of doggie bags!
Oh, wow! The Cheesecake Factory was just wonderful! You MUST try it sometime!
Anyway, we went to plenty of stores and found my clothing style.
I look good in swing- dress type dresses and wrapped tops all with a slight V- neck. They are very flattering and comfortable.
Unfortunately, most all of them were expensive too… $80 for one top- that is a little extreme.
But we did find one store that was having a sale and we got a whole bunch of things for me there: None of the wrapped tops or anything, but some tops that looked nice on me.
Anyway, I also finally got to try my first REAL Starbucks coffee and my verdict is…um, sorry to disappoint you Starbuck lovers, but…I can make better with just a can of Arabian coffee. It was good, but…honestly, I can make better coffee for cheaper, but it was nice to try it!
Well, that was the extent of the trip between lots of laughs and talking and looking and more talking and whatnot.
It was fun except for the underwear store…perhaps one day I will understand this strange liking of underwear, but not likely. You don’t buy underwear for everyone to see, sorry, and I think I’ll stick with sports bras.
All in all, it was fun and enjoyable and relaxing and mom and I did not come home too tired, which of course is always a GOOD thing!

Oh yeah! The answer to the riddle is---FIRE! Yay!!! Somebody got it right again! I figured it would be pretty easy. Keep it up!